Sometimes I really suck at looking after myself. Actually, a lot of the time I really suck. I can't be the only one that convinces myself that I can actually do everything. I'm the kind of gal who'll say yes to any opportunity, or I'll decide that I am totally capable of smashing out that 40-thing-strong to-do list in the next few hours.
I mentioned a little while ago that I'd started a new 'editorial calendar' for my blog, and I'd been relatively successfully pre-planning and scheduling posts. The problem though is that I'd felt a little detached from my blog - I was writing 10 or so blog posts all at once, scheduling them throughout the month, along with tweets, and then barely touching my camera or my blog for the rest of the time.
I didn't have much idea of what was posting that day, unless I vigilantly checked my calendar. I felt like I was just watching my posts disappear until I'd have 0 scheduled again, and be back to square one.
Obviously, this approach didn't work for me - I was stressing about not having 3 weeks prepped in advance, and every post closer to my last scheduled post I got, the more pressure I felt, and the more I felt like a failure.
If all these other bloggers can do it, why can't I? Was my reasoning. I'm just not organised enough.
I just spent too much time relaxing and not enough time working. I didn't nip out of Uni to take photos enough. I didn't plan enough in advance. I did what was natural and after lying in bed sobbing because I couldn't do anything right, and feeling dreadfully guilty about lying in bed crying instead of sitting and writing those blog posts, it hit me.
None of these bloggers are like me.
The bloggers I was putting on a pedestal of consistency, gleaming images, witty and inspiring writing and overwhelming amounts of social media presence, were full time bloggers, or freelancers, or only worked a few days a week, and were big, proper growed-ups.
I was giving myself so much grief for not fitting what everybody else does into half the amount of time. Now, I know not everybody's schedule is the same, but a lot of students - particularly arty people and crazy rocket science people - have actually quite a lot of work to do. I will spend 10-5, 5 days a week in the studio at Uni and still spend my evenings and weekends feeling guilty if I'm not working.
I realised that i'm a student and I will never get this time back. I'm not saying I'm cutting down on blogging in favour of partying, because that's not exactly my vibe, but I'm certainly not going to let myself feel awful about not hitting my three-posts-per-week target this week. I barely even do one interesting thing per week!
You're here to learn, to make friends and 'discover yourself'. Your blog will still be there at the end of it. I'm not saying don't blog, I'm just saying give yourself a break and just enjoy blogging.