Sometimes I really suck at looking after myself.
Actually, a lot of the time I really suck. I can't be the only one that convinces myself that I can actually do everything. I'm the kind of gal who'll say yes to any opportunity, or I'll decide that I am totally capable of smashing out that 40-thing-strong to-do list in the next few hours.So naturally, once I became a student, I carried this mentality with me.
There’s a lot of pressure at uni to always be doing more.
Especially if you’re doing a creative degree. There’s never really an end to a project, there’s always some added extra you could have spent time on, some pages of your sketchbook you could have bulked out, some extra mile you could have gone to really secure you that 1st Class mark. And most students want to do that. Why wouldn’t you? You’ve paid enough to be here, you might as well get the most out of it. But when you’re trying to keep a blog fresh along side that (as well as making friends, trying to have a social life, potentially interning and all the other aspects of “Student Life”) it can be really difficult to juggle it all. For me itwas stressing about not having 3 weeks of posts prepped in advance, and every post closer to the last scheduled post I got, the more pressure I felt, and the more I felt like a failure.
If all these other bloggers can do it, why can't I? Was my reasoning. I'm just not organised enough.
I just spent too much time relaxing and not enough time working. I didn't nip out of Uni to take photos enough. I didn't plan enough in advance.
After lying in bed sobbing because I couldn't do anything right, and feeling dreadfully guilty about lying in bed crying instead of sitting and writing those blog posts, it hit me.
None of these bloggers are like me.
The bloggers I was putting on a pedestal of consistency, gleaming images, witty and inspiring writing and overwhelming amounts of social media presence, were full time bloggers, or freelancers, or only worked a few days a week, and were big, proper grown-ups.
I was giving myself so much grief for not fitting what everybody else does into half the amount of time. Now, I know not everybody's schedule is the same, but a lot of students - particularly arty people - have actually quite a lot of work to do. I will spend 10-5, 5 days a week in the studio at Uni and quite a lot of my evenings and weekends working, yet feel guilty if I'm not working.
I realised that I was a student and I will never get this time back. You don’t need to feel awful for not posting three-times-a-week like your fav blogger.
Your blog will still be there at the end of it.
You're here to learn, to make friends and 'discover yourself', not to document it immaculately, 3 times a week. Blogging is a great creative outlet (and a great thing to have on your CV) but it can also be added stress that we really don’t need.